


He Belongs To Me

by dvs



Series: and then you'll come home to me [1]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe, Future Fic, M/M, Reunions, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 13:12:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19426678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvs/pseuds/dvs
Summary: Robert wakes after a 3 year coma, taking 3 seconds to decide breaking up Aaron's marriage.





	He Belongs To Me

Robert was trying not to roll his eyes because the woman seated across the aisle was looking absolutely apoplectic. It was her fault really for asking why he was headed to France. She could have just left it at, “My name is Christa,” or “I love the Eurostar, it is _fantastic_ ,” or even “No one should be travelling to Paris with such an unhappy face.” No, she had to flipping delve. _But…_ he wasn’t going to see her again, so what the fiery hell. She _did_ ask.

“Please, let me understand this,” she said after the somewhat quick rundown of events Robert had given her. “You **_faked_** your own death to avoid getting, as you say, **_banged_** _up_ for something you did not do, left the country, ended up in a coma due to something that apparently _is a_ ** _long story_** , only to wake up three years later to realise the charges you were running from were dropped, and now that your husband has married another man, instead of letting him move on with his life, you are following him to Paris, _Paris,_ the city of love, while he is on his _honeymoon,_ to split up this happy couple, so you and he can be together again. Yes? That... _that_ is what you are doing.”

Robert nodded, throwing a peanut up in the air and catching it in his mouth. “Well done you. Got it in one.”

“Hmm. Merci,” Christa said looking none too impressed. She continued on from where she sat across the aisle in her impeccable English laced with a French accent. “Does this not strike you as being a little unfair? And by a little I mean **_incredibly_** _._ ”

“Because almost going to prison for something I didn’t do and then losing three years to a coma anyway is totally fair,” Robert said with a roll of his eyes. “Look, if Aaron and Alex are so solid, my turning up isn’t going to do anything, is it? _But_ , if it’s me Aaron wants...then, well, all’s fair in love and war really. _Especially_ in the city of love.”

Christa looked appalled. “Is it not possible that your injuries were more serious than originally suspected and you are perhaps acting, how you say, out of character?”

Robert frowned at her, thinking about it. She did kind of have a point. Would he even notice if he wasn’t being himself? Shaking his head he said, “I’ve gotta be honest. This feels pretty normal.”

“Being full of yourself? Reckless?” Christa asked. “That is normal for you, is it?”

Robert smiled at her. “Oui.”

“ _Oui?_ ” she said, her voice rising in pitch and her eyebrows climbing up into her short blonde pixie hairdo. She arched a preened eyebrow at him, so judgemental it could have given Vic a run for her money. Shaking her head at him she said, “You are doing this because you love him, I can see this. But, would it not be kind, and _right_ , to leave him be with his new life? Hmm?”

“ _Christa. Love_ , give it a _rest_ will ya?” Robert frowned, turning his head to find the man behind Christa’s seat slowly pulling away his copy of GQ Magazine from where it had been resting open on his overheated looking face. He leaned into the aisle and looked at Robert through his Ronnie Kray glasses and said, “Mate, if somehow against all odds you manage to get more than one chance at being with the right bloke, do _not_ cock it up, yeah? That’s _my_ advice. You want advice on something from the French, stick to cheese, wine, and pastries. No offense, love.”

“Taken, most certainly taken.” Christa shook her head, turning to face the seat in front of her and opening up her magazine. Arching a brow at Robert she said, “Suddenly, I am seeing the beauty of Brexit.”

Robert grinned, turning to see _Ronnie Kray Glasses_ resuming his sleep-sprawl as he muttered, “Tell you one thing though. That Macron? Definitely wouldn’t have Brexited him out of bed.”

*****

Leaving the station in Paris seemed to take almost as long as the journey from London. Robert looked around at the density of British tourists also waiting to get out of the station, scowling and muttering, “What the hell?”

“Brexit,” the man behind him said dryly.

Robert turned to look at the skinny tall guy, way too suited up for the blazing weather, though, having said that, suited sharply. Robert nodded and said, “Finally found out what that meant then.”

“Yes,” Skinny Guy said with a bounce of his arched brows, and slightly snaky smirk, “Don’t let stupid people vote.”

Robert snorted and turned back to marvel at the size of the queue. Flipping open the only passport he had for now, and not in the name of Robert Sugden. No, that passport was long gone, along with other precious belongings that had been sent back to his husband. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what that must have felt like, Aaron being handed a watch, a ring, a passport, being told that these belongings were found on the body of a man who had fallen drunk into a canal. They knew the body wasn’t Robert, but could only assume what had happened to the owner of the stolen belongings. Robert clutched the passport in his hand, swallowing against the tightness in his throat.

“So, um, what are you doing in _gay Paree_?” Skinny Guy asked. Robert glanced back at him, finding pale blue eyes assessing him appreciatively. “Business or pleasure?”

“Joining my husband,” Robert said with a nod.

Skinny guy smiled, looking just a little sheepish as he said, “Well, lucky him.”

Robert nodded. “That depends on who you talk to.”

*****

Paris was _hot_. Even for Robert, and he quite liked the sun as it happened. Though, coming to Paris during a heatwave was possibly a good idea. A man could do with a tan after three years chilling in a coma. Robert sat back in an air-conditioned taxi, watching Paris being exceptionally Paris, which was just a little boring without having someone sitting next to him to remark on the exceptional Parisness of Paris. He could imagine Aaron next to him, trying not to laugh at bad accents and unable to say a single word of French without going red in the face. But Aaron wasn’t here. It was just Robert in the back of a taxi enduring music that made him want to shoot his own ears off.

He thought back to Christa shaking her head as she got off the train, of her enjoying the luxury of judging Robert. She had no idea. He had walked away from everything that mattered to him, and he had done it for Aaron, only to wake up and find that three years of his life had been struck off like it was nothing. In that time Seb had said more than just his first words, Vic had a little boy called Harry, Liv started university, and Chas and Paddy had a little girl they named Eve.

People had moved on and Robert had woken up thinking only weeks had passed since he last desperately clung to Aaron and said, “It’s okay, we’ll be together again in no time. I promise.”

Maybe he was a little late, or a lot late, but he still had every intention of keeping that promise, even if Vic had yelled at him on the phone, after she’d finished crying, telling him, “Don’t you dare, Robert! He just got married! They’re on their honeymoon! You can’t break up a couple _on_ their honeymoon.”

“I can if one of them is my husband,” Robert reasoned calmly. “As far as I know, being in a coma isn’t actually grounds for divorce.”

“Robert-” Vic started.

“Sorry, going through a wind tunnel,” Robert said, cutting their conversation short.

Diane was no better, Vic obviously having gotten to her already. She cried with disbelief first, and then with relief, which soon turned to horror when she realised what Robert was up to. “Robert Jacob Sugden, you will not-”

“Diane,” Robert interrupted. “Do you know where they’re headed to in Paris or not?”

“Yes, and I’m not telling you. Robert, love, _please._ I know this is terrible news, but that poor lad has been through so much. This is going to crush him,” Diane said.

“What, me being alive?” Robert balked. “Thanks a lot.”

“You know what I mean, Robert,” Diane said sternly. “So, no, I am not telling you where they’ve gone.”

“No problem,” Robert said. “I’ll see you when I get back to the village. _With_ Aaron.”

There was of course one more call to make, the hardest one in fact. On the first try, Robert only managed to say hello and identify himself before he was hung up on. He tried again, and no one answered. Then he waited twenty minutes and tried again, and finally Chas answered.

“Oh my god,” she said, sounding fragile. “It’s really you, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. He swallowed down a strange shaky feeling rising up from his chest and said, “It’s me, Chas.”

She had let out a little sob, and Robert wasn’t so stupid as to think it was for him. She was crying for Aaron, for the pain Robert had once again caused her son.

“You didn’t hang up.”

“I spoke to Vic,” she said. “She told me everything. I… I don’t know what to say.”

Cutting to the chase, Robert said, “I need to know where Aaron is.”

Chas was quiet for a long time. “Love… it’s too late.”

“No,” Robert said firmly. “No, it’s not.”

“Robert, he just got married. You can’t-”

“He’s all that matters to me,” Robert said, the words tumbling out in a desperate rush. “Chas… you have any idea what it’s like? You come home and all you’ve got left of the man you love is the confetti flying in the air from his wedding that same day.”

“You were here…” Chas said, the words barely there whispers. She was quiet, and the silence rang with guilt. There was something she was holding back, and no doubt it had to do with Aaron.

“If I don’t have him, I may as well have never have woken up,” Robert said.

“What if he doesn’t want to come back to you? Have you thought about that?” Chas asked.

“’Course I have,” Robert said, his voice brittle in his throat. “But that’ll be his choice. Not yours, or Vic’s, or Diane’s. Not even mine. _His_. So, what’s it gonna be?”

“I’m sorry,” Chas said. “I can’t.”

“You know I’m in Paris, right?” Robert said. “It’s not going to take me long to find out exactly where they’re staying. Might as well save me the trouble of, oh I dunno, the extra five minutes it’ll take me.”

Chas was quiet for a bit, and Robert almost felt as if he had her. Clearly the coma had given him some memory loss because Chas reminded him of what a stubborn cow she could be as she told him _no_.

*****

It took a little longer than five minutes, but he was there before the end of the day, standing on the small balcony of his hotel room, the Seine and the Eiffel Tower in the distance, a coupling all of their own. Robert turned his back on the scene grumpily, wondering whose idea it was to come here. Robert couldn’t imagine Aaron soaking up the romance of Paris. Unless he’d changed. Why not? It had been three years. All sorts could change in that time. Robert fell back on his bed with a sigh. Maybe this _was_ all a stupid idea. Maybe he was fooling himself. Maybe this was just a little daydream he’d been allowing himself before having to face up to the reality that he and Aaron were done.

He drifted between barely awake and on the cusp of sleep for a while, exhausted by heat and travel, until the Parisian sky filled with a cocktail of warm colours that tinted the evening light coming into the room. Robert blinked sleepily in the direction of the balcony, seeing the shadow of Paris through gauzy drapes. The breeze was barely there, teasing him with the promise of something more tangible. Robert closed his eyes, imagined a present where this room was his and Aaron’s, and Aaron was right here, curled up behind him, nosing the nape of Robert’s neck like he used to.

“I can’t believe we had to change rooms. It’s ridiculous.” Robert’s eyes snapped open, brow furrowed. He sat up and listened. “I mean aren’t plumbing problems something they should generally be on top of _all_ the time?”

There was a quiet and warm laugh in response to the question, a laugh that Robert definitely knew, followed by a voice that was absolutely Aaron’s. He stood up, moving towards the balcony. “ _Alex_. It’s not a problem. This room is just as good. Look, same view.”

“Yeah, but I wanted it to be perfect,” Alex said softly.

“It is. Come on, _it is_ ,” Aaron said, so earnestly. Robert pulled a face, shaking his head. If this had been Robert and Aaron on honeymoon, it would have _actually_ been perfect.

A bit of a silence followed, which Robert didn’t try to interpret as anyone’s tongue in anyone’s mouth. All the same, he was glad to hear Alex talk. “I’m going to jump in the shower.”

Robert grit his teeth, shaking his head as he thought, _don’t you bloody dare you piece of-_

“Why don’t you join me?”

He had dared. The little shit had absolutely dared. Robert took a deep breath, hands on his hips, trying to quell the rising nausea. But luckily the fates were on his side because Aaron said, “Right, and miss our dinner reservations. We’re already running late thanks to you.”

Alex groaned. “Good point. Fine, I’ll go shower. On my own. But you owe me.”

 _You owe me?_ Ugh, Robert rolled his eyes hard. Aaron laughed, and there was the sound of what could have been a kiss, or possibly the rupturing sound of Robert’s heart. More silence followed and Robert somehow clamped down on the urge to straight up jump from the balcony of his room. He sighed when the balcony next door sounded empty again, allowing himself to fall back against the wall with a thump.

“It’s not nice you know, eavesdropping on people’s conversations,” Aaron said, surprisingly Robert. “Hello? I know there’s someone in there.”

Robert eyed the balcony beyond the lazily shifting drapes. What was this feeling now in Robert’s chest, like a rock turning to ice turning to water in his lungs? His eyes were stinging, and terrible grief was making him feel shaky on his legs. Aaron was right there, on the balcony next to his, talking to him. If this didn’t mean they were meant to be together, nothing in the world meant anything. Robert squared his shoulders and stepped out, just in time to see the balcony doors to the next room shutting with a quiet click.

Robert stared at the empty balcony. It was just him and Paris again, the city sounding empty and quiet despite the disgruntled beeps of car horns below. The sun was setting quick now, casting an orange grey veil over all the buildings which sat neatly next to each other, letting him look across all of Paris, just to let him get an inkling of exactly alone he was.

*****

When Robert called her again, Vic didn’t start shouting at him immediately this time, which was progress. She sounded sad though, which seemed about right. It was what he was really good at, wasn’t it? Cocking up other people’s lives.

“Robert,” she sniffed. “Come home.”

“How?” Robert asked her. “If I come back to Emmerdale, he’ll eventually run into me, and he’ll be shattered.”

“He’ll be happy you’re alive,” Vic said, sounding as if he was a complete mentalist.

“Right,” Robert said. “He’ll be over the moon, won’t he, when he realises I was in a coma in some hospital while he was making wedding plans with Alex. No. He’ll think he should have waited, and he’ll hate himself because he didn’t. And he shouldn’t, because he wasn’t to know. So, no, I can’t come back to Emmerdale. Not unless he’s with me.”

“But Robert-”

“And I don’t want to,” Robert said tightly. “I can’t come back and see what I’ve lost. I can’t, Vic. I can’t do it again. Seeing him with someone else…”

“So what are you gonna do then?” Vic asked tearfully. “You can’t just keep away, Robert.”

“I won’t,” he promised her. “I’ll come home. Just not… not Emmerdale. Without Aaron it might as well be anywhere. Maybe, closer to Seb, I dunno.”

Vic sighed heavily, sniffing back tears again. “I can’t believe it. I keep thinking I’m imagining this all.”

“I’m sorry,” Robert said. “It wasn’t meant to be like this. Thought I was being clever. Just messed things up. As usual.”

“I don’t care,” Vic said. “All I care about is that my big brother is alive and well. You don’t know what it was like. I didn’t know what to do...”

Robert listened, wishing he could put his arms around her and squeeze her tight. All he could do was tell her, “Hey. Stop that. Come on, you’ve hardly told me anything about my nephew.”

Vic let out a watery laugh. “He’s so cheeky. Just like his uncle.”

“Bet you wish he wasn’t though, don’t you?” Robert said with a chuckle.

“No,” Vic said quietly. “I couldn’t think of anyone I’d want him to be like more. Harry’s a proper little Sugden, he is. Kind, loving, and sometimes he might be naughty, but he cares about the people who love him. Just like you, Rob.”

Vic let out a little breathy noise. Robert had to take a breath, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I’m pretty sure he gets most of those qualities from his mum.”

Vic said nothing, but Robert could hear her smile in the silence all the same. Her voice seemed lighter when she said, “So, what are you up to then?”

“You don’t want to know,” Robert said.

“Try me,” Vic said. “Since I can’t stop you with your mad plan, I might as well know what you’re actually doing. Did you find him then?”

“Yeah. Can’t say I think much of the hotel,” Robert said, smiling when Vic sighed. “Wouldn’t have been my choice, but then-”

“Not your honeymoon, is it?” Vic said, genetically incapable of not rubbing salt into his wounds.

“Well, one half of the honeymooning couple _is_ my husband,” Robert reminded her.

“You were declared _dead_ , Robert.”

“Yeah, and I’m declaring myself alive now,” Robert said, just as the waiter arrived and asked him if he wanted a wine top up. Robert gave him a nod, before taking a generous mouthful of his refill. “Very much alive as it happens.”

“Where _are_ you?” Vic asked. “At the hotel?”

“ _I_ am in a little bistro,” Robert said, looking out of the window by his table. “Enjoying the view. _They..._ are eating in the restaurant across the street and happen to _be_ the view.”

“Robert,” Vic said heavily.

“Gotta go, sis,” Robert said with a smile. “Bloke with an accordion asking for directions.”

“Robert! Don’t you dare-”

*****

The _view_ as it happened was quite delectable. Aaron was wearing a nice black suit with a black shirt and two-tone black tie. His beard was just shy of stubble, and his hair neat and short, smartly parted on the side. Not that Robert had walked past the restaurant enough times to notice such a little detail. Aaron had lost the blazer soon enough. Even though the sun had gone down, the air was hot and stifling, Robert carrying his blazer in his hand, even his shirt and jeans a complaint against his skin now.

Aaron’s face was a little flushed. Robert couldn’t figure out if it was just the weather, or if it was Aaron twisting himself up about something inside his head. He seemed a little distracted, Alex having to seek out his line of sight to get the attention back on him. But then the next time Robert peeked in, Aaron was smiling at Alex, nodding at something. He didn’t look so different to the last time Robert had seen him. Just smaller in the way grief could shrink people. Otherwise, he seemed like Aaron. Robert smiled at the sight, until it hit him that Aaron wasn’t his to smile about.

Robert looked away, wishing he had stayed in the bistro across the street, downing another good bottle of wine. What the hell was he doing here? Aaron was on his _honeymoon_. It was too late. Robert stood leaning against a wall, watching a young couple walking by hand-in-hand, soft smiles directed at each other as they spoke quietly and idled down the street, the world forced to move around them. He and Aaron had been like that once, two people travelling in tandem. The world spun around them, tried to pry them apart and make them spin along to everyone else’s speed, only for them to always find their way into each other’s stride. The world at large had meant little.

Robert getting married had meant nothing to Aaron once, nothing at all. Aaron had stood there and made a declaration of love to a man about to marry someone else. And why? _Because I love you_ , he had said, _and I know you love me too._ So what was a honeymoon to Robert? What did it mean when Robert had invited Aaron into his wife’s bed, fucked him sweet and slow as if this was where they both belonged? Those moments were imprinted into Robert’s mind, of Aaron pinned beneath him, arching off the mattress, his desperate moans still ringing in Robert’s ears. That week long charade of normalcy, it had been addictive. Robert craved it into insanity. He’d lay in bed at night with Chrissie curled against him, Aaron in his head and his heart shaking with need.

So then, what was this honeymoon then but a minor inconvenience?

*****

Robert went back to his hotel room, leaning against the balcony railing until the moon shifted in the sky and turned its full eye on him. It was probably as romantic as hell if you were a honeymooning couple, the universe shining its spotlight on maritally sanctioned sex. Robert sulkily eyed the intrusive orb hanging over him, deciding that he could count dozens of romantic moments with Aaron that didn’t involve celestial bodies – just his and Aaron’s, that’s all it ever took. Though, the bright silver of the moon did seem to kick open the door on one memory.

They were in _their_ barn, it had been getting dark, and moonlight had crept in, waking Robert. He’d sat up and swore, not having intended to fall asleep. Aaron had let him fall asleep on purpose, he thought, annoyed, but then he looked at his watch and sighed with relief. It was no more than ten minutes of shut eye. He’d fallen back on the bed of hay, looking at Aaron a little differently now the veil of panic had lifted. He was fast asleep, just mouth slightly open. Robert smiled, tickled by something, but unsure of what it was. Maybe it was just nice to see Aaron not being gobby about something Robert had done wrong. He was just lying there, body turned towards Robert, t-shirt on, everything else discarded, hands curled around the edge of their scratchy blanket. Robert wanted to lean in and kiss him awake. He wanted to look at him, take his time, touch him.

He wanted Aaron so much, it twisted his stomach into a fearful knot. He’d gotten up, abrupt and angry, throwing on his clothes as if Aaron had somehow taken them against Robert’s will. Aaron awoke with a start, blinking with confusion at Robert who was zipping up his trousers. He sat up slow, and that mardy wounded look he always got was creeping across his face, making Robert want to fucking grab him and just… never let go. Aaron would stay there all night with Robert if he could and Robert knew it. What Aaron didn’t know was how much Robert wished a night could just last forever. When they were here together, in this hideaway of theirs, it felt like the world outside stopped existing, and all that was left was them with each other. Nothing else mattered. If only… Robert would always stop that thought right there.

Robert pushed away from the iron railing, making his way back inside. Pulling off his shoes he fell back onto the bed, combing his fingers through his hair. Blinking up at the ceiling he shook his head, marvelling how a man’s life could change. He and Aaron had _married_. _Twice._ Would his father have stood there and watched it happen? Robert still thought about that. If Jack Sugden was still alive, would he have watched his boy making vows to another man? Robert turned his head up towards the wall that separated his room from the next, blinking tiredly. All Aaron had ever wanted of him was _him._ Nothing more, nothing less. Funny how it once seemed that Aaron was asking for the most anyone had ever asked of Robert, yet ultimately, it was the least anyone could have asked for.

And now, Robert wasn’t even sure who he was without Aaron, only that he was incomplete.

*****

It was too hot to sleep. Robert drifted uncomfortably for an hour or two before he finally sat up in bed, morosely staring into the dark. There was no noise next door, thank god, or he’d have to spend the whole night locked in the bathroom gagging.

Robert didn’t know why, but he ended up calling Chas. The phone rang for a while before Chas must have finally decided she was going to pick up. She asked with a sigh, “It’s late, Robert.”

“Yeah. Sorry,” Robert said. “Sorry...I’ll-”

“It’s fine,” Chas said, one part hurried, one part annoyed. “What is it? Has something happened?”

Robert shook his head. “No. They’re still together. Don’t worry.”

Chas took a moment before replying, sounding hard. “That’s not fair.”

“Me coming back to find I’ve lost everything is fair, is it?” Robert asked quietly. “You have no idea what I’m going through, Chas.”

“And you have no idea what he went through,” Chas said. “You have _no_ idea. I thought I was gonna lose him. You and your stupid plans. You could have just stayed, waited for the charges to be dropped. But no, Robert Sugden has to be in control of everything. Well look where it got ya. Look where it go the both of ya.”

Robert covered his mouth, stifling the sudden onslaught of frustration and unhappiness, tears burning the corners of his eyes. Grimacing, he shook his head. Chas would never see anything his way.

“Robert?” Chas said, the hard edge to her voice gone. “ _Robert.”_

Robert swallowed, let out a breath and then took another, steadying his voice. “So, how’d they get back together then?”

“Robert, why-”

“I deserve to know, don’t I?” Robert asked. “It’s not like I walked out on him, or cheated on him.”

“No, not this time,” Chas said. Robert clenched his jaw, shaking his head. This time it was Chas who took a deep breath. “Sorry. That was unfair.”

“Just want to know if he’s happy,” Robert said quietly. Pathetically. “Is that so bad?”

“No,” Chas said. “No, love. It’s not. I’m sorry.”

“So? Go on then.”

Another sigh, followed by thoughtful silence, and then finally: “He had an accident about eight months ago. In Hotten. Some drunken… _idiot_ was speeding. Went through a red light at a junction, right into his car. Punctured lung. Broken leg. He was lucky. Could have been so much worse. Anyway, Alex-”

“Was working at the hospital,” Robert said. “Lucky for him, eh.”

“It wasn’t like that, Rob,” Chas said. “He saw the state Aaron was in, and he just wanted to be there for him. When I told him about you-”

Robert laughed. “Right.”

“Oh come on, Robert! Aaron is my _son_. I wanted to see him happy. I _needed_ to see my little boy smile again. Because guess what, Robert, you stole that from him when you decided to go off and play dead.”

“I was lying in a hospital, in a _coma_ ,” Robert snapped. “Who was there for _me_? No one! I woke up with a bunch of doctors practically on the verge of switching my life support off. It was _your_ son who helped me out of the country, so he wouldn’t have to see his husband go to prison. I did it for Aaron, Chas!”

They both lapsed into silence, Robert’s anger vibrating through him. He sighed, sinking back against the pillows and squeezing the bridge of his nose, his head beginning to ache.

“We were scared,” he said quietly, “of losing each other. I didn’t set out to hurt anyone.”

“I know,” Chas said, sounding defeated. “I know you didn’t. I know none of this is fair. I just...I just want what’s best for Aaron.”

Robert snorted, smiling. “Yeah, well, according to you, that’s never been me. Has it?”

It was unexpected, but Chas laughed, quiet and surprised. “No. It hasn’t. You know, for the longest time I couldn’t figure it out, the hold you had over him. Then I realised it was simple. You loved him, and he knew exactly how much. Knowing how loved you are… not everyone gets to have that.”

“I still do,” Robert said. “More than you can imagine.”

“Oh, I believe you. I believe you,” Chas said with a heavy sigh. Sounding tired, she said, “Found him have you then?”

“Of course I have,” Robert said. “Just surprised you haven’t told him anything.”

“Not exactly something you can tell your son over the phone _on_ his honeymoon, is it?” Chas said. “No, I think I’ll let you deal with that, thank you very much.”

“Thought you’d be more cut up about the prospect of losing a perfect son-in-law if I’m honest.”

Chas didn’t respond immediately with anything flippant. Robert frowned, a little surprised. “I only care about what makes my son happy. I’ll leave it up to him to decide who that is.”

“Thanks,” Robert said with an amused laugh. He figured this was as generous as Chas would ever be. Sighing, he said, “So. Tell me. How much has Aaron spoiled Eve then?”

This time Chas laughed and it was happy and giddy. “Ohhh, like you wouldn’t believe. Between him and Liv, she’s the luckiest little girl. Paddy’s no better. Spoiling her rotten he is.”

Robert grinned. “She’s not bald like Paddy though, is she?”

“Oh shut it you,” Chas said, making him laugh.

*****

His conversation with Chas ended amiably and Robert ended up falling asleep with a feeling of familiarity and calm which belonged at least three years in the past. He awoke abruptly a couple of hours later though to find the moon had moved along considerably. He’d been having a strange and terrible dream. Katie had been sitting awkwardly in the corner of his hotel room, crouched mid-air and peering down at him with her neck at an odd angle. She did that sometimes, turn up in his dreams with angry accusation in her eyes.

He woke up with a fearful sound bubbling out of his mouth, the TV remote on his chest and the telly still on with an entirely too well-groomed newscaster reporting something grave. Robert put the remote aside, deciding to leave the telly on, that great protector against dream spirits and ghosts, watching the screen through bleary eyes. That was a nice suit the newscaster had on, and his hair was cut and styled in a way that made him think of Aaron, that same dark dark brown hair, so neat it was ridiculous. That same mardy jawline too, with piercing blue eyes. Robert frowned. Maybe he was still dreaming.

Or not.

There was movement on the balcony next door, the weight of a body coming to a quick stop. Robert sat up, turning towards the sound, before he moved quietly towards his own open balcony, keeping in the shadows of his room, but close enough to hear every ragged gasp, every exhale. Robert stood there pressed against the outside of the doorframe, frowning. He didn’t have to wait too long for an explanation though, because the second occupant of the next room had also come out.

“Aaron. Hey… hey, it’s okay, just breathe,” Alex encouraged.

“I know,” Aaron grated out. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look like fine, Aaron,” Alex pointed out, which was the dumbest thing to do because that wasn’t what Aaron needed to hear. Robert waited, feeling impatient, restless. Useless.

“Just a stupid dream,” Aaron said. “Go back inside, will ya? Look, I’m _fine._ Give me a minute and I’ll come in.”

Robert could feel Alex’s reluctance to leave it alone coming off in waves, but after a moment of stubborn silence he relented. “Okay. I’m here if you need me.”

Alex left and Robert could hear the release of shuddering breaths, followed by the shifting of a chair, Aaron heavily falling into it. The next few minutes were spent expelling slow and deep breaths. It was a good ten minutes before calm seemed to descend out there. Robert had sat

When a good amount of time had passed, Aaron quietly spoke. “Hello?”

Robert’s eyes widened. He looked around the room, opened his mouth. Only…

“Yeah. Sorry. I know it’s late. I...” Aaron’s voice cracked. Robert listened carefully, and he could just about hear a voice from a phone speaker, to which Aaron replied, “I’m sorry. It’s stupid.”

 _No it’s not,_ Robert wanted to say. Whatever it was, it was definitely not stupid.

“I just… I had this dream. Woke up in a panic.” Aaron was quiet, the silence taken up by the barely audible sound of the other voice. Aaron sounded devastated when he said, “I’ve been thinking about him. How messed up is that? I’m on me honeymoon and I’m thinking about… What’s wrong with me, Paddy?”

Robert clenched his jaw tight, squeezing his eyes shut. Shaking his head and sighing, he whispered to no one, “Nothing.”

“Look, I’m sorry. It’s late, I shouldn’t have woken you up. I’ll talk to you later,” Aaron said, sniffing wetly. “No, Paddy, _Paddy_. I gotta go, Alex’ll wake up. Bye. _Bye.”_

There was silence again, except for the sound of Aaron’s shuddering breath. Robert sat there, eyes closed as he listened with a heavy heart. What was he doing? Why wasn’t he stepping outside right now and telling Aaron everything? What was he waiting for? He looked to the other side of the balcony’s doorframe, his mind’s eye placing Katie there who looked in the direction of Aaron, and looked at Robert, and then grinned gleefully, as if to tell him, _you don’t deserve to be happy._

After a few measured breaths, Aaron went back inside. Robert stepped out onto the balcony, realising it was only to look at the spot where Aaron had sat for a few minutes. How had that become enough? Desperation, he thought. This was desperation, standing there looking at the balcony of a room in which _his_ husband was shacked up with another bloke. He could hear Katie’s delighted laughter in his head, and he turned to glare at the ghost of her sitting on the railing edge.

“ _This_ ,” she said softly, “is why they must call it _gay Paree_.”

The vicious thought of grabbing her by the throat came to his mind, of him pushing her over that balcony. It shook him. He hadn’t killed her, not on purpose. He _hadn’t._ She smiled at him as if she knew different.

“An interfering bitch in life, an interfering bitch in death,” Robert murmured. “Not much changes, eh?”

She looked at the closed doors of the next balcony and grinned. “Some things do.”

“Yeah? We’ll see about that,” Robert said, turning on his heel and heading for the door. He was going to do it right now. Three in the fucking morning, he was going to knock on the door of the next room and just say-

_“Where are you going?”_

Alex’s sleepy question stopped Robert’s hand from knocking on their door, leaving it raised mid-air. He frowned, angling his ear towards the commotion.

 _“I just need to go for a walk,”_ Aaron said, sounding on edge. “It’s just a bit stuffy in here.”

 _“Okay, well, I’ll come with you.”_ Robert rolled his eyes.

 _“No, it’s fine,”_ Aaron said curtly. Robert grimaced. He knew _that_ tone.

_“Hey, it’s okay, I don’t mind-”_

_“_ ** _Alex_** … _I need some space. I won’t be long, yeah?”_

Robert’s eyes widened. Aaron’s voice seemed to come practically from the other side of the door. He rushed back to his room, not shutting the door, just holding it slightly cracked open, catching sight of a quickly moving blur. Once Aaron was past, Robert poked his head out to see him waiting by the lift, his back to Robert. Robert poked his head back in, and shoved his feet into his boots. Once Aaron was in the lift, he ran down the corridor to take the stairwell, coming out just in time to see Aaron leave the building.

Robert followed him from what felt like a safe distance. A safe distance for _what_ was… not important. Robert quietly mused on Aaron’s self-assured walk. Had he been here before? Did he know this place? Robert never really found out much about Aaron’s time in France, and he’d never got to see France from Aaron’s eyes like he wanted to. They had forever been planning a weekend away where Aaron would show Robert all his favourite places, reveal to him those bits of his life that still only belonged to him. It just never happened. Something always came up.

And now here they were-

“Yes, you stalking him like a serial killer,” Chrissie remarked in his mind. He scowled at that, shaking his head, her voice so crystal clear she might as well have been walking next to him. He could see her, feel her sliding her arm through his and pushing in close. “Do you remember that weekend we spent here?”

Robert nodded. “At the swanky George _Canq_? Of course I do.”

“Hmm, trust you to remember the luxurious part,” Chrissie said. He looked at her, or the thought of her really. She’d looked so beautiful in so many ways, and all he could think of was the last time he saw her. She smiled, arching a brow. “What’s this, Robert? You’re not _missing_ me are you? Well… aren’t you sweet?”

Up ahead, Aaron had stopped momentarily, looking around and then checking his phone. Robert hung back, finding shadows to hide in, the street devoid of the daytime crowds which made for better cover. Satisfied with whatever he was looking for, Aaron kept walking.

“You know,” Chrissie said, “Paris is just the perfect place for a proposal.”

Robert snorted. “Yeah, well, as far as I’m concerned, we’re still married.”

Whatever was going to follow Chrissie’s bemused expression was interrupted by Robert’s phone ringing. He frowned at the screen, answering. “Chas?”

“What have you done?” she demanded.

“Me? Nothing. Why?” Robert asked.

“He’s called Paddy, hasn’t he? In a proper state,” Chas said.

_“Are you on the phone in the bathroom?”_

Robert pulled a face at Paddy yelling in the background as Chas told him, “No! I’m talking… to myself. Go back to bed will ya?”

“Please tell me you’re not on the bog,” Robert said.

Chas shushed him loudly. “What’s going on over there, Robert?”

“Nothing to do with me. Not my fault if your son is having second thoughts about marrying a wet blanket,” Robert said. “All I know is, I heard a commotion next door, and Aaron sounded like he was having a bit of wobble out on the balcony.”

“That’s what Paddy... _next door?_ Robert Sugden, please don’t tell me you are staying in the room next to the one my son and his husband are having their _honeymoon_ in,” Chas hissed.

“Alright,” Robert said with a shrug.

“Alright what?”

“I won’t tell you that’s what I’m doing,” Robert said. Chas sounded scandalized – the nerve. “What? What did you think I was going to do? Woo him from afar?”

“No, what I thought you were going to do was come to your senses and let him have his honeymoon in peace,” Chas said.

“Please,” Robert said with a snort. “I’ve not spoken to him once, and it looks like he’s still having about the worse time here.”

_“Chas! Chas, I need to use the loo. What are you doing in there?”_

“Will you hold on, Paddy?” Chas snapped. “I’ve got… lady problems!”

“Chas, there’s a man with a baguette asking for directions, I gotta go,” Robert said, turning the phone off and resisting the urge to burn it. He looked up ahead, finding no Aaron in sight. “Great, I’ve lost him now.”

“Haven’t you just?” Chrissie said smoothly, throwing one end of a fur stole over her shoulder, looking impeccably pleased with herself. In her defense, Robert probably had that remark coming.

*****

Robert wandered around for a bit, having lost track of Aaron, and chasing the minor breezes that broke through the wafting heat. What was the point of heading back to an empty hotel room anyway? But then, what was the point of Paris at night when there was no one to share it with? Paris at night felt old and abandoned. He sighed and stopped, looking around, wondering if it was _actually_ Paris that felt old and abandoned. The answer seemed too depressing to contemplate so he made his way back to his hotel room, flopping onto his bed without bothering to undress.

At some point exhaustion took over and he must have fallen asleep, because he was waking up with a thumping headache, the sunlight streaming into his room, cutting like a knife into his head. It was too bright, _white_ bright, like hospital sheets. For a moment his heart thumped with panic. What if he was still in a coma? What if this was just some terrible nightmare?

“Me? In a nightmare? Oh, pet, I don’t believe it.” Robert sat up with a start to see Val looming over his bed, grinning at him with utmost glee. He looked down at himself. He was in a suit, a black suit, and his bed was a coffin, and somewhere Aaron was dead. Val made a faux sympathetic face at him. “Oh, you don’t look so good. I’d say you look as if you’ve seen a ghost.”

Robert jerked awake, eyes and mouth wide open as he tried to catch his breath. He took a look around the hotel room. Just him, in last night’s clothes, Paris on the other side of the open doors of the balcony, too bright and sunny for the early hours of the morning. Robert sagged and fell back against the pillows, his hand covering his eyes. His head was aching as if someone had wrung his neck during the night. He grimaced down at his feet to see he still had his flippin’ boots on.

“What the hell am I doing?” he muttered to himself. He fished his phone out of his pocket, unsurprised to see messages left for him by Vic, Chas, and Diane. Rolling his eyes, he threw the phone aside and got up to shower and shave.

When he was done, he stood there in the bathroom, wiping traces of shaving foam away and splashed his face with water. He assessed himself in the mirror for a moment. Three years of lying in a coma wasn’t exactly ideal for retaining good muscle mass. He looked a little on the skinny side. It mattered. The way he looked, that was a part of the Robert Sugden toolkit. Not that Robert had been so fit that Aaron could just forgive him anything. No, that always required hard work. Wasn’t Aaron always worth it though?

“Ugh. You’ve lost your edge, mate,” his reflection seemed to scoff. He sighed and muttered, “Yeah. Maybe.”

Room service was impeccable in its timing. Robert immediately downed a glass of cold orange juice, realising only then that he was absolutely parched. The pot of coffee that arrived with his breakfast probably wasn’t going to help on that front, but god did he need it. He could have groaned the first sip was so good. It always made Aaron laugh whenever Robert reacted with orgasmic zeal to something that didn’t involve nudity.

A memory of the The Mill came flooding into his mind, tasting of coffee and contentment. Robert had brewed coffee in a stove pot they barely ever used, another one for the messy cupboard. He’d taken a sip and then just closed his eyes, obscenely pleased with the result. When he opened his eyes Aaron was staring at him, and grinning as if he’d seen something both ridiculous and wonderful.

Robert grinned back at him. “What?”

“You make me laugh you do,” Aaron had said quietly. He looked so content it absolutely killed Robert. This was the same Aaron who had hurt himself over and over in so many ways, and now he was stood there looking happy over nothing more than Robert being Robert. He smiled at Aaron, taking another sip, humming with approval. Aaron laughed. “Yeah, alright. You’re gonna make me flipping jealous of a cup of coffee now.”

Robert set the cup down. Aaron was already rolling his eyes and smiling, playing at reluctance as Robert took him by the wrist and pulled him close, ending up with his arms encircling Aaron’s waist. There it was again, that contentment as Aaron reached up to settle his hands on Robert’s arms, fingers idly flexing over the fabric of his sleeves. Robert leaned in and pressed an unhurried kiss to Aaron’s mouth, Aaron reciprocating with eagerness. Robert smiled, humming with pleasure against Aaron’s lips and Aaron pulled away as a laugh sputtered out of him.

“Remind me why I married you again?” he asked with a little grin, a question Aaron only asked when he was happy.

Robert gave him a nod and told him with utmost seriousness, “Suave.”

“Right,” Aaron said with a wrinkle of his nose as he stole Robert’s cup of coffee.

Robert slumped back in his chair, sighing as he set his coffee down on the table. Him and Aaron, it wasn’t that long ago, was it? In Robert’s mind it felt not weeks ago. But here they were years and one wall apart. He rubbed at his forehead, the ball of pain still sitting there between his eyes.

“You alright?” Robert sat up at the sound of Aaron’s tentative question, his voice drifting featherlike into Robert’s room. He stood up and quietly moved towards the balcony.

“Yeah. Breakfast?” Alex answered, sounding tense.

“Uh, yeah,” Aaron said. The scrape of chair legs followed, and then awkward silence.

“Thought we could do a little sightseeing,” Alex said. “If you’re up to it. Got back pretty late last night. Well, or really early this morning depending on how you look at it.”

“Yeah… sorry. Didn’t wake you did I?” Aaron said, sounding guilty, perhaps a little ashamed, though needlessly.

“It’s okay,” Alex said. “So… how are you this morning?”

“Fine,” Aaron said. Liar, Robert thought. He could hear the brittleness in Aaron’s voice from a mile away.

“Okay,” Alex said, sounding careful, perhaps a little disappointed. “It’s just that you don’t seem fine. And considering it’s our honeymoon, that’s saying something.”

“Alex-”

“Aaron, I just want to know you’re okay, that… we’re okay,” Alex said, his words laced with frustration.

“I told you,” Aaron said. “It was just a bad dream.”

“Well...then tell me about it, if it helps. Or just tell me you don’t want to talk about it. You just left, Aaron, you shut me out,” Alex said. The scrape of chair legs again. “What… where are you going now?”

“Shower,” Aaron said.

“Shutting me out again you mean,” Alex said.

“I saw someone who looked like him,” Aaron said, sounding defensive, annoyed. “The spit of him. And for a second, I thought maybe… maybe it was him. And I know it wasn’t, I know he’s gone, but… you can’t tell your brain how to dream, can you?”

Aaron stopped, voice cracking. A heavy silence seemed to expand all the way from their balcony to where Robert stood.

“Is that what you wanted to know?” Aaron asked wetly, a tremor in his voice. “I saw someone who looked like Robert, and I wanted it to be him _so bad_ I couldn’t handle it. You want me to bring _that_ up on our honeymoon do ya?”

“Aaron, I understand-”

“You can’t. No one can,” Aaron said with that stubbornness he had, that unwillingness to let someone in on his pain. “But I don’t expect you to.”

“Aaron, don’t,” Alex said, sounding defeated.

“I’ll go have that shower yeah?” Aaron said, leaving behind a tense silence.

Robert felt shaken, swallowing down the emotions clogging his throat, breathing through them as they swam in his chest, leaving him feeling watery and raw. It hit him that he couldn’t just walk over there into that room, just grab Aaron and pull him close, hold him tight until the passing of every storm.

“That’s just love, isn’t it?” Chrissie mused, staring out past the doors, wearing her finest for Paris, at her prettiest. Looking her saddest. A flash of her bloodied face left him dizzy until he had to sit down and slowly breathe his way back to reality.

*****

Breakfast went back uneaten, Robert sitting sullenly near the open doors of the balcony, miserable to the core. He could hear quiet muffled conversation in the next room. Good luck to Alex if he thought he could talk Aaron out of a mood.

Katie laughed at him, lying on his bed and grinning. “You think you know him so well. Well, guess what, Rob, you’ve been dead and maybe without you around he’s finally become the best he can be. Because let’s face it, you’re like poison. You just turn everything bad.”

Robert fixed her into his mind's eye and just looked at her for the longest time. Things could have been so different all those years ago, if he’d just let her have her life with Andy. He considered everything else that might have been different, whistling quietly to himself a little tune that went d _ormez-vous, dormez-vous?_

“Your husband… killed my mum,” Robert murmured, then dully repeating words he’d heard about Andy so many times: “Such a lovely lad, that Andy Sugden.”

The door shut next door, and Robert was up and out of his chair in an instant. He waited a long moment before opening his door a crack and seeing both Alex and Aaron by the lift. They were facing each other, Aaron’s back to Robert. Things still seemed a little less tense, Aaron reaching out to give Alex a little reassuring stroke on the arm. Robert couldn’t help but pull a face at the gesture. Oh god, what if they _did_ have that shower together. Ugh.

“Oh, pet, if ya going to get _this_ jealous about a little touch on the arm, I’d love to see your face when they’re in there snogging their faces off,” Val laughed in his ear.

Robert grimaced at the thought and shut the door, quickly checking for his wallet and phone, and then grabbing the room key and Paris friendly blue blazer.

“He’s going to do it. He’s actually going to follow them around on their honeymoon,” Chrissie said, sounding gobsmacked.

“Always was an obsessive little creep,” Katie offered.

“Oh I don’t know. I think it’s romantic, me,” Val offered.

Robert turned around from the door to see them there, his personal coven of dead witches. Right. A full night’s sleep. Water. A proper meal. He was going to get on top of those things as soon as possible. As _soon_ as-

“You get him back?” Katie asked with amusement.

Robert thought about it, nodding. “Yeah. As soon as I get him back.”

*****

“I’ve been speaking to Chas,” Diane said.

Robert rolled his eyes and sighed. “Yeah, well, that’s usually a bad idea, Diane.”

“ _Robert_ , for goodness sake, love. You’re on someone else’s honeymoon! What are you _thinking_?”

Robert lifted up his sunglasses for a second, looked around at fellow strollers and way up ahead Alex and Aaron on what seemed like an aimless and leisurely stroll. Clearly Alex had no idea what an itinerary was. Idiot.

“I’m thinking,” Robert said, dropping his sunglasses back into place, “Paris is quite nice this time of year. Maybe I’ll come back next year when it’s not a hundred degrees. With Aaron. You know, my husband. You do remember the wedding don’t you?”

“Yes, I do,” Diane said sternly, but then her voice turned soft, wobbly. “But… you _died._ And...oh, Robert.”

“I was meant to be gone months, Diane, not years. I wasn’t supposed to go and get my head bashed in and spend almost three years in a coma. I mean… how is that even fair?”

“I know, love,” Diane said. “But think about Aaron. You don’t know what he’s been through.”

“And what’s he going to go through when he finds out what happened to me?” Robert said. “You think that marriage will survive when he knows I’m back?”

“You know, I love you like me own son, I do, but my god you can be full of yourself sometimes,” Diane said, tears forgotten now that she had moved onto righteous indignation.

“He loves me, Diane. I love him,” Robert said. “A million Alexes couldn’t change that.”

“So you’re going to break them up before their marriage has even started, are you?” Diane said.

Robert nodded. “Yeah, that’s about the size of it. Gotta go. There’s a mime asking for directions.”

“Robert!”

Robert ended the call and stuffed his phone in his pocket. He shouldn’t have said anything to anyone. He should have just found Aaron and gone straight for it instead of talking to Vic, and Chas, and Diane. They were all too happy for him to be alone, and happy for Aaron to live a lie of married ignorant bliss.

“I suppose you could just leave it alone,” Chrissie mused with a tilted smile. “You know, let him stay married. Have an affair instead. It’s not like you don’t have experience in that area.”

Leave it alone. As if he could. No, he was going to walk across the road, keep them both in his sight and at the first moment he’d spy Aaron alone, he’d brush past him, getting his attention with a soft stroke to the back of Aaron’s hand. Aaron’s forehead would crinkle with a slight frown, not angry, just curious, and he would turn in the direction of movement, and he would see Robert. The look on his face was so easy to conjure up in Robert’s mind. The sudden widening of his eyes, the parting of his mouth. That would be the point at which Robert would pull him along before crowding him into some nook. He’d take Aaron’s face in his hands, push up against him and kiss away that startled look. Just like that, Aaron would fall into his arms, and everything would be perfect.

A loud horn blared and someone yanked Robert back hard, right out of his sweet reverie, in time for him to narrowly avoid being wrapped around the wheels of a bus. Robert stared at its back end in surprise, some French bloke presumably either asking him if he was okay, or calling him an idiot. Robert mumbled a sorry and thanks, finding his feet and getting away from the curb. Up ahead, far in the distance, Aaron was grinning at Alex, and Alex took the opportunity to lean in and kiss him.

Only, then… as Aaron pulled back and his gaze momentarily shifted to their surroundings, it seemed to land directly on Robert. All Robert could do was stand rooted to the spot and stare at back Aaron. The sound of Paris seemed to get sucked into space, leaving only a void where Robert could feel his heart beating with fear. Everyone was right. He shouldn’t have come here. Dense traffic broke the spell, coming between him and Aaron. Robert chose the moment to turn on his heel and return to his hotel. The idea that he could come back into Aaron’s life and just force it to take off where they had left it, well, it _was_ big-headed, even for him.

Life, it seemed, would just have to go on. Paris continued being sunny and hot despite this cold revelation. Parisians and tourists continued on their way, checking out each other’s fashion or lack thereof. People sat outside cafes as if life ran at the speed dictated by the emptying of coffee cups and glasses of wine, and Bob Dylan knock off stood busking by a wall with a simple guitar, eyes closed as if he was playing just for himself, shaking his head and singing.

“... _même si le ciel efface les vents mauvais, je sais que tu ne m’oublieras jamais.._.”

Robert stopped to stare at the busker as he sang, his throat constricting and the sunlight stinging his eyes just a little more than it should have. He turned to look back in the direction he had come from, where Aaron was with Alex. Shouldn’t Aaron have been here with Robert? It seemed so wrong that they should be apart. And yet… Robert swallowed down the bitter taste of regret and turned to drop into the guitar case whatever came first into his hand from his wallet. The busker smiled, nodding to him, singing his refrain, “ _Pour te dire que je t’aime...”_

**_*_ **

He got drunk. That seemed like the answer. He was a bloke who had followed two men to their honeymoon in the hope of breaking them up so he could get back together with one of then, and he had been happy enough to ruin the life of the other guy. Alex didn’t matter in the scenario at all. Robert literally couldn’t bring himself to care about the impact on Alex. That’s who he was. That’s the person he was hoping Aaron would choose over the man he’d married. Robert took a swig from his half-finished bottle, snorting at himself. Why’d he have to wake up at all? They should have just switched that machine off. People had already mourned for him, it wouldn’t have mattered.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. He made a face, pulling it out and looking at the screen. Private number. He tossed the phone aside and carried on drinking where he sat on the floor, leaning against the bed and watching the balcony, the doors wide open to invite in as much of the thing breeze as possible. This would have been a nice place to be with Aaron. Robert would have put together a list of places they would visit and Aaron would have moaned the whole time, but out of habit, not for any other reason. Deep down he would have loved every second and called Robert a soft lad for everything he would have enjoyed too. He would have laughed and smiled, been carefree. He would have been the way he was whenever it was just him and Robert.

Robert’s head dropped forward into his hand, a soft sob escaping him. He clamped down on it, breathing it roughly back into his lungs. Jack Sugden’s boy crying over a bloke, it was probably making his dad turn in his grave. He tried to think of something else. Something not his father, or his husband. His foggy mind latched onto a tune sung in a quiet melodic voice: _frère Jacques, frère Jacques, dormez-vous, dormez-vous?_ He blinked heavily, listening to that tune in the recesses of his mind, jerking out of the reverie when his phone started to ring again.

Annoyed, he picked it up and answered with a harsh, “What?”

“Oh my god,” came the breathy response, turning tearful almost immediately. “ _Robert_.”

Robert stilled, those awful emotions stuffed back into his chest threatening to flow again. “Liv.”

“It’s true… How is this possible?” Liv asked, crying hard. She sounded so young, just a kid. “ _Robert_.”

“Liv,” Robert said quietly. “Please… please don’t cry.”

That seemed to make her cry harder, so he let her. He sat and waited until she let out a few shuddering breaths and somehow managed to tell him, “Chas told me. I didn’t believe her. She said you got hurt. You were in hospital.”

“Yeah,” Robert said.

Liv started to cry again. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey,” Robert said, scowling. “You don’t have _anything_ to be sorry about. None of this was your fault. I should have...I should have just stayed put and let them bang me up until the charges were dropped. We got scared and I let Aaron and Cain talk me into leaving. I was going to come back when the whole thing blew over. It just didn't work out that way.”

“Aaron wouldn’t believe it,” Liv said with a sniff. “He was right. We all just kept at him, that he had to accept it and move on, but he _knew_.”

“Liv, come on,” Robert said gently, though it made no difference to her tears. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“I can’t believe this,” Liv said with a half-laugh and a half-sob. “I missed ya.”

Robert laughed. “Alright. Where’s the real Liv?”

“Shut up,” she said, still wobbly, full of affection. She was quiet then, and it was obvious what subject she was building herself up to. “Chas told me where you are.”

“Thought she might have. It’s okay. I know what you’re going to say. And… you’re right. So is Chas. Vic. Diane. You’re all right. I need to let him move on with his life. All I ever do it make things worse for him,” Robert said, his voice unsteady, his chest heavy with heartache.

“What? _No,”_ Liv said. And then came Chas’s voice from the background with a worried, _“Liv?”_

“No?” Robert echoed.

“Rob, you’ve no idea what it’s been like. You have no idea how it messed Aaron up,” Liv said.

 _“Olivia? What are you doing?”_ Chas said, sounding closer.

“He still loves you, Robert. Yeah he’s married Alex, but he didn’t do it for himself. He’s pretending he’s moved on for everyone else,” Liv said. “He needs ya.”

 _“Liv. What are you saying, love?”_ Chas was asking Liv. Liv told her, “It’s true. Yeah he likes, Alex, but he’d never have said yes if everyone hadn’t been on his case about what a perfect bloke Alex is. And he is, he’s great. But… he’s not Robert, Chas. Robert. Did you hear that? He only wants you.”

“Yeah,” Robert said roughly. “I heard. Listen, I uh...I gotta go. Need to see a bloke about some crepes.”

Liv laughed. “You’re still not funny.”

“Yeah, says you,” Robert said. He smiled, feeling that warmth only brought on by family. “Thank you, Liv.”

“Don’t thank me,” she said in her straightforward Liv style. “Just...just come home.”

*****

_Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques_ _Dormez-vous, dormez-vous?_ _Sonnez le matines, sonnez le matines_ _Ding ding dong, ding ding dong_

Robert frowned, closed eyes feeling like shriveled prunes. He opened them a little and thought he saw someone smiling down at him, reaching out to cup his face. But like a bubble popping, the dream was gone in an instance, the song with it. He pushed himself up on his elbows with a groan, looking towards the night sky outside. He stared at it, sighing heavily. He’d made things so much worse. Aaron had seen him, _must_ have seen him. What did he make of it? Knowing Aaron, nothing good. Robert fell back where he lay, pinching the bridge of his nose.

The room next door was quiet. Robert looked up at the ceiling, blinking slowly. He could see the spectre of Katie crouched next to him on his bed, leaning up to press an ear against the wall. She smiled at Robert. “Either they’re very quiet, or this is one more thing you’ve ruined.”

Robert blinked sleepily at her, murmuring, “I’m sorry. I wish you knew I was sorry.”

Katie tilted her head at him, and then as if she was falling, seemed to fly back and smash into the wall, hanging there with a broken neck. Robert flinched at the sight of it, feeling cold all over. She did this sometimes. She turned up in his dreams so he could just see her die over and over again. And then, she was gone.

The only difference was that before, Robert would have this waking/sleeping dream and then he’d turn to look at Aaron in his bed, and he’d move closer, let Aaron put his arms around Robert. It wouldn’t matter if he didn’t sleep for the rest of the night, if he lay there counting every second of the night. He had Aaron, and that made everything better. It made it easier for Robert to be Robert, because Aaron had somehow managed to love him despite all the reasons he shouldn’t have given Robert the time of day.

A soft noise beyond the balcony caught Robert’s attention. He turned heavily towards the sound, blinking blearily into the grey of the room. There was something strange about the silence, something that felt familiar to Robert. He got out of bed, his drink-heavy head making the world feel just a little tilted. Robert stopped inside the threshold of the balcony. That heavy quiet sob was a sound Robert knew. Aaron was distraught and trying to stifle it. Robert hung his head, eyes closed as he stood listening to the sniffs and shuddering intakes of air.

When he couldn’t listen anymore, he stalked back into the room and picked up his phone, dialling as he went into the bathroom and closed the door. Liv picked up after three rings, her voice thick with sleep. “Rob?”

“Call Aaron. Just… make up whatever reason you can. But call him,” Robert said, his voice sounding unsteady to his own ears. “He… he needs someone.”

“What’s happened?” Liv asked.

“Liv. Just call him, yeah? Please.”

Robert hung up with a sigh. He wasn’t here to have Aaron unravel. This wasn’t how things were meant to happen. He’d messed up. He’d messed up bad. Robert left the bathroom, discreetly heading back towards the balcony where he could already hear the quiet murmurs of Aaron’s pretending-to-be-okay voice.

“You sure everything’s okay?” he asked. “We’ll come back otherwise, you know we will.”

Robert could only just hear the sound of Liv’s voice. Aaron was listening in quiet, but then that was so much easier than speaking and giving away his own state.

“No, I’m glad you called,” Aaron said, still sounding shaky, before going quiet again, listening to Liv. “Yeah, we’re fine. He’s asleep. I was getting some air. It’s really hot here.”

A short sharp question from Liv. A too long pause from Aaron.

“Yeah,” Aaron said with a breathy forced laugh. “I’m fine. I’m just tired, Liv. Look… um… I better go back in. You sure you’re okay?”

Once Aaron had Liv’s assurance he told her ‘night’ and ‘love you’ and fell back into a quieter silence. Robert heard the scrape of the chair being pulled back and there was the soft sound of movement, of Aaron sitting down. Robert listened out for more, but there was no more. Just dead silence. He sat down where he had stood, resting his head against the wall, eyes closed, staying put until the sun began to rise and Aaron finally went back inside.

*****

Robert woke up feeling like shit the next morning. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this crap. Or maybe he did, only Aaron had been there to nag him back into health. _Robert you need to do this, Robert you need to do that._ Who had ever been able to tell him what he needed? No one but Aaron. Others might have tried, but Aaron was the only he’d ever wanted to listen to. Now Alex had the privilege of that. To be fair, he probably deserved it too. He was a good bloke, unlike Robert who was...just Robert.

 _“Alex. Wait!”_ Robert lifted his head, eyes and ears trained towards the sound of Aaron’s voice.

Alex was saying something, but it was muffled, strained. Until Aaron said something and then Alex snapped back loud. _“Aaron, stop!”_

Robert got up, moving towards the door and opening it a crack, just as the door to the next room opened.

“Alex! Don’t be like this!” Aaron snapped, clearly angry. “You don’t have to go. _I’ll_ go. Okay?”

“Right,” Alex said sounding shaken. “You go home while I stay here for what was meant to be our honeymoon. Sounds great.”

“I said I was sorry,” Aaron said.

“If you were having second thoughts, the right time to tell me was _before_ we walked down the aisle in front of our friends and family,” Alex said. “It was when I asked you to _marry_ me. It was at least a _thousand_ opportunities you had before we got married, Aaron.”

“I know,” Aaron told him, his voice sticking. “But I thought… I thought I was ready. I thought I-”

“Stopped being in love with a dead man?” Alex asked.

Aaron was quiet for a moment, and Robert could practically feel the anger charging up inside him. “I told you how I’d always feel about him. You don’t just stop loving people because they died.”

“I never asked you to do that,” Alex said. “I just thought we had something. You said _yes_ , Aaron. I feel like an idiot.”

“Let’s at least talk about this,” Aaron reasoned. “I… I just need to sort my head out. I’m sorry.”

Alex was shaking his head, his rucksack pulling firmly against his back. “It’s not your head that’s the problem though, is it? It’s your heart and that fact that you don’t really have much space in it for me. I’m sorry, Aaron. I can’t do this anymore.”

Just like that, like a fucking idiot, Alex was walking away from Aaron _._ Robert jumped out into the corridor as soon as he heard the lift doors ding shut and the door to Aaron’s room closing. He ran out and down the stairwell making it just in time to catch Alex leaving the lift.

“Alex. Stop!” Alex stopped, but he didn’t turn around. He just stood where he was, his rucksack slipping down his arm and into his hand.

The rucksack fell to the floor when he finally turned and saw Robert, his wheelie case forgotten by his side. He looked, not to be cliched, like he’d seen a ghost as his eyes flicked up and down Robert’s hungover and dishevelled form, white shirt untucked, his hair in who knew what state.

“You’re making a big mistake,” Robert said.

Alex blinked. Then he took a run at Robert, fist first, and to be honest, that was the best welcome back into the world of the living.

*****

The concierge Claude had to pull them apart, before warning them against more of the same precisely as sternly as an effete Frenchman might. He stuck them in an office to cool off after getting their reassurance he wouldn’t have to call the police, and then leaving to fetch them some tea. Robert sat on a too small and too low couch, holding an ice pack to the side of his mouth where Alex had managed to bust open his lip. He grimaced, bringing his free hand up to his ribs where Alex got in his other lucky shot. Alex was sitting opposite him, glaring with glassy eyes, a bruise blooming high on his cheek. He was, understandably, not a happy man.

Alex shook his head then and started to laugh. When he stopped it was with a heavy sigh and a look of definite contempt aimed in Robert’s direction. His phone was buzzing in his pocket again, and again he ignored it. “Only Robert Sugden would come back to life just to mess with mine.”

“That’s not what I want-”

“Then why are you here? What are you _doing_ here, in this hotel, where I’m on my honeymoon with _my_ husband?” Alex said. “What could you possibly be doing here if not trying to mess things up, Robert? Tell me, _please_.”

Robert clenched his jaw in annoyance, bringing down the ice pack. “It doesn’t matter why I came here. What matters is that I’m leaving. Me and him… we had our chance. More than our fair share of chances.”

Alex nodded, giving Robert an applause of slow claps. “Really big of you. Thanks.”

Robert stood up, anger shooting straight up his spine and into his head. “Are you some kind of moron? You’ve got a chance at something good here, and you’re not even going to bother fighting for it?”

Alex looked up at him, giving him a serene nod. “There’s nothing to fight for, is there? I mean, I’ve been competing against a dead man and still failed. It’s not just Paris. It’s every minute of the last eight months of Aaron looking at me like being with anyone but you is killing him. I’d really have to _hate_ myself to want a lifetime of that. He doesn’t want me. He just… for a brief moment made us both believe that he did, and like a mug, I fell for it.”

Alex got up, grabbing his rucksack and swinging it on, Robert asking him. “That’s it then, is it?”

“Pretty much,” Alex said. He reached into his pocket, checked his phone, and then turned it completely off. Reaching for the door handle, he gave Robert a cutting look, telling him, “I do hope he’s happy, you know, poor choices in men aside. You? I don’t give a shit about because you’re quite clearly an absolute prick. But I hope he eventually gets to be happy.”

Robert nodded. “You do realise _you’re_ one of his poor choices, don’t you?”

Alex sighed tiredly, turning to leave with a simple goodbye of, “Fuck off, Robert.

*****

Robert stood in the lift, looking back on how he’d gotten to this moment. A week ago Robert had woken up in a hospital room wondering why he couldn’t understand the people talking to him, until it dawned on him that it was because they were German and he was not. Once the fact that they were German registered, a flood of memories assaulted him so hard, a stern looking nurse had appeared over his bed and tried to soothe him until something burned and tingled in his hand and his body became heavy like a stone sinking into a river bed.

The next time, when he’d realised this was not a conventional nightmare, but an actual waking nightmare, he’d somehow managed to panic less He’d been in a coma they said. He’d been discovered with some terrible injuries, including head injuries, but that was three years ago. He had no ID on him and remained a comatose question mark. He told them his real name, even if it meant being deported to an English prison, and two days later the police arrived, telling him of a decomposed body that had been found with items belonging to a Robert Sugden. It could have been the man who robbed him. It could have been someone else someone altogether.

 _You are making a remarkable recovery_ , he’d been told by the doctor who had until a week ago thought Robert was never going to wake up. _I should not use words like miracle, Mr Sugden, but I think something of the kind has happened here_. Robert didn’t believe in anything. Well, he believed in one thing, and that was Aaron. So if this was a miracle happening, of course it had to do something with Aaron. Either Robert had woken up to get him back, or either he had woken up so the universe could kick Robert in the teeth from a better angle.

By the time he found out about Aaron and Alex’s wedding, it was too late to turn up at the wedding and proclaim he was both alive and still married to the groom. It should all have been quite funny really. He’d turn up and say it was all a big mistake, not being dead. Aaron would be shocked, but within seconds all over Robert like a rash. As for Alex? Well, he should have gotten used to playing second fiddle to Robert now. It was all meant to go smoothly. Then Robert realised he couldn’t remember the last time a plan of his actually went smoothly. A simple wedding proposal had ended with him and Aaron at the bottom of a lake. If ever there was a sign from somewhere then this was the sign that his life and the concept of smooth would always be at odds with each other.

He could have called Aaron. He tried it too, hanging up before Aaron could answer. He realised he needed to be near Aaron when the truth came out, not on the other end of a phone line where he couldn’t hold Aaron. Following Aaron to Paris with the express intention of breaking him and Alex hadn’t worked out either. In his mind, he was going to find the right time to speak to Aaron. Aaron would be overjoyed. All that would leave was Aaron telling Alex that their short lived marriage was over and that Aaron’s dead husband was back alive and well. And while they were waiting for Aaron to tell Alex, there would be no choice but to engage in a little extra-marital foreplay. But no, that too had been a light-hearted dream.

Aaron was all over the place, and Alex had left heartbroken. Okay, fine, Robert couldn’t really bring himself to care about Alex, but it had an effect on Aaron, and that mattered. It mattered to Robert a lot. It wasn’t easy stepping back and deciding to let go of Aaron just so Aaron could get a stable shot at happiness. It was...fucking awful. But Aaron deserved to be happy, even if it meant being with someone else. Only, even the memory of Robert had been enough to destroy what Aaron had with Alex. That’s how poisonous it was. How poisonou _he_ was.

The lift stopped with a ding and he sighed, watching the doors slide open, Aaron on the other side as he held a phone to his ear. As soon as he registered that Robert was standing before him, he froze.

“Aaron,” Robert whispered.

Aaron was staring at him with an incredulous look on his face, backing away the whole time until he came up short against the wall. He shook his head, opening his mouth to speak, but nothing seemed to come out.

“I had to tell you in person, Aaron,” Robert said quietly, walking towards him like a man approaching a dangerous and cornered animal. “Just… just hear me out, okay?”

Aaron flinched as Robert took another step, and then he just moved right out of Robert’s way, moving in the direction of his room, his eyes on Robert the whole time. Robert followed, slow and careful. “Aaron, please.”

Aaron stopped in front of his door and looked at Robert with a bright frantic gaze. “ _Don’t._ I can’t…”

He let out a frustrated sound, shaking his head and opening his door, before stepping inside and slamming the door shut, leaving Robert on the other side.

*****

_“Sonnez le matines, sonnez le matines. Ding ding dong, ding ding dong.”_

Robert frowned, opening his eyes. He was still sitting outside in the corridor, leaning against the wall opposite Aaron’s room. Looking to his side he saw company in the form of a woman who could have been cut straight out from a photograph. It made sense. Robert didn’t have any real memories of her. Just wisps that seemed concrete in dreams and then nothing when he tried to grab at them.

“You used to love that song,” she said brightly. “Brought a big smile to your face it did.”

“I don’t remember,” Robert said, staring at her and still unable to see her face quite right.

“Of course you do,” she said confidently. “You remember.”

She started humming the tune as he frowned at her and then looked back at the closed door. He could hear it unlocking and Robert jerked fully awake at the sound, finding himself sitting alone. His watch said that he’d been sitting here a good few hours, morning having passed, and the afternoon now rolling on. The door was opening, and Robert watched it through tired eyes, remaining where he sat until Aaron came into view.

Aaron’s face was flushed, his eyes a feverish blue, glassy and tearful. He looked an absolute wreck, courtesy of Robert. Aaron swallowed, wiped at his face with the back of a hand and then turned around to go back inside, leaving the door open. Robert got up slowly and followed, closing the door behind him. The room of course was a mirror image of his, the doors to the balcony open and showing him a slightly altered version of the same view from his room.

Aaron stood at a distance just watching him silently. Robert ventured into conversation first. “I texted Chas. She’s probably told you all there is to know.”

Aaron didn’t respond, his eyes just boring into Robert, his mouth unhappily turned downwards.

Robert tilted his head a little, imploring, “Been dying talk to ya. Say something.”

Aaron’s gaze moved from Robert’s face, down the white shirt which had a smudge of blood from his busted lip, and was creased from having fallen asleep in it, down his jeans that looked no better, and then back all the way to his hair which didn’t have an ounce of product, coming to rest on his bleary face, pale and drawn from a hangover.

“You look terrible,” Aaron said quietly.

Robert nodded, feeling tremors coursing up from his chin into his lips. “It’s been a rough couple of weeks.”

“Yeah?” Aaron said with a nod. His mouth twisted, eyes filling. His words were barely there as he said, “Imagine how I feel then.”

Robert closed the distance between them in a split second and pulled Aaron into his arms, Aaron hooking his chin over Robert’s shoulder with a wet gasp. Robert held him tight, so tight his arms seemed to shake. They clung to each other hard, fingers clawing at clothes, muscles taut with the ever present fear of separation. He pulled back, taking Aaron’s face in his hands, before pulling him close for a gentle kiss, breathing him in, relief and gratitude cascading through him.

Pulling back just a little Robert whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t,” Aaron whispered, shaking his head, looking full of regret. “I should’ve come with ya, instead of waiting. I should-”

“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter,” Robert said, pulling Aaron back into his arms and burying his face against Aaron’s shoulder.

They stood like that for a long time, holding each other tight and close, until Aaron pulled away, sniffing and blinking back tears. He looked around his room and said, “Well, looks like the end of the honeymoon then.”

Robert smiled at him, shrugging. “Or, it could be the beginning.”

“Technically we’re not married,” Aaron said with a small smile of amusement.

“Since when do we do anything in the right order?” Robert said. “Come on, come with me. Unless… ”

Aaron cut him off: “‘Course I’ll come with you. You know I will.”

“Yeah, well, we’ll find out soon enough,” Robert said to Aaron’s confused look.

This was where it was all going to hit the fan Robert thought as Aaron packed his things and they made their way out of the room. Aaron was going to see how close Robert had been the whole time and he was going to flip his lid. The look on his face was priceless as he watched Robert opening the door to his room. First his eyes were on the door, his mouth hanging open in surprise, and then his wide-eyed look was fixed on Robert.

“Probably best you lose your temper inside,” Robert advised. Aaron blinked at him and then walked in, Robert taking a deep breath and following.

Aaron looked around the room, his eyes settling on an empty bottle of booze on Robert’s pillow, before his gaze shifted to the balcony doors which were still open, the gauzy curtains before them billowing softly. He seemed to lose himself staring at the view.

“So,” he said quietly, shaking his head. “You’ve been camped out here the whole time have ya?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Didn’t realise you were next door. Wish I could say I’d planned that, but maybe it was just meant to be.”

“Right,” Aaron said. “What was the plan then? Spy on us, split us both up and then you and me go off into the sunset together?”

“Along those lines I suppose,” Robert said.

Aaron turned around with a frown etched across his forehead. “What if I said no?”

Robert shrugged. “Doesn’t matter, does it? Dead men don’t have much to lose.”

Aaron looked around the room, shaking his head. It was a surprise when a laugh spluttered out of him and he looked at Robert with a tearful but warm gaze. “You’re mad you are.”

“I’ve been told,” Robert said with a watery laugh. He stepped towards Aaron, reaching for Aaron’s hands, pulling him close. “You’re not gonna say no, are you?”

Fresh tears rolled down Aaron’s cheeks as he sniffed and shook his head. “Because that’s always worked out well hasn’t it?”

“Aaron,” Robert whispered, leaning in and brushing his lips against Aaron’s, his hands coming up to hold Aaron’s face. He pressed their foreheads together, murmuring, “I love you so much.”

Aaron sniffed, nodding, his mouth morphing from unhappy to a small but brief smile as he said, “I love you too.”

*****

Robert’s plan never really extended beyond _get Aaron back_. It was almost too much to hope for that Aaron would be in his arms now rather than an agonizing months down the line, or not at all. But here they both were, holding onto each other for dear life. Robert hadn’t even thought further than just being able to hold Aaron, certainly not as far as getting him into his bed.

However, it was Aaron who made that decision whilst Robert wondered if they were moving too fast, if Aaron needed more time, more space. Aaron’s kisses went from one kind of desperate to another, from distressed relief to something that was more hungry. As Aaron pulled Robert’s shirt over his head, Robert decided Aaron could have whatever he wanted. Falling back onto the bed, he watched Aaron strip off his own and the rest of Robert’s clothes, never once removing his gaze from Robert’s.

It was Aaron who fell upon Robert, pressing kisses to his chest, mouthing his collarbone and sucking at the skin of his throat. It was Aaron who held him down, moving his body against Robert’s, reclaiming him, holding onto him so hard it seemed to mark Robert to the core, not in his flesh, but somewhere deep in his soul. It was Aaron forcing them back into moving in tandem, ever the mechanic, fixing a broken machine. The stifling heat, the build up of sweat between them, it was nothing but a fiery purging of misery as they returned to each other.

In the dead calm aftermath of coming, Aaron lifted his head from Robert’s shoulder and they just stared at each other in silence, Robert reaching up to cup Aaron’s face, his thumb brushing away the moisture at the corner of Aaron’s eye before it could collect and fall. He leaned up, kissing Aaron soft and slow, pushing him back against the pillows and re-learning his body, the span of his hands spread over Aaron’s ribs, eyes scanning over faded scars. He dropped his head to press his mouth against Aaron’s skin, before resting his cheek on Aaron’s chest with a sigh, Aaron’s fingers carding through his hair. He fell asleep like that, praying he’d wake up and this wouldn’t be a dream.

*****

Robert _did_ dream, but it was an old and common dream. He was dreaming that he’d been caught. He’d been _seen_. He looked to the door and found someone was there, one hand on the doorknob. A shocked and somewhat disgusted gaze was being levelled at Robert. Then there was just anger. That’s what always happened. Robert always ended up making people angry, and whatever punishment was due followed, and he almost always had it coming. He did it to himself really. That fury written across Jack Sugden’s face was a portrait hung in Robert’s mind, there to remind him of his aptitude for fucking up.

Robert flinched awake, eyes snapping open, heart beating too fast and skin too hot. Aaron pushed himself up on an elbow to looked down at Robert. Stroking Robert’s arm, Aaron said. “You alright?”

Robert nodded, his face relaxing out of a painful grimace. “Yeah. Weird dream.”

Aaron had a curious look fixed on him, head angled, his full attention on Robert, eyes travelling across the full expanse of his face and body. “Look at the state of ya. What have you been doing to yourself?”

“I’m fine,” Robert said, his eyes greedily drinking the sight of Aaron in.

“Yeah, well everyone knows what that means in Robert-speak,” Aaron said.

Robert looked up at Aaron, shaking his head. “Not everyone.”

Aaron brushed his thumb across Robert’s sore lip, his eyes also dipping to bruising over the curve of Robert’s ribs. “What happened then?”

“Had a run in with Alex,” Robert said. Aaron responded with a slow nod. Robert could see the guilt crossing his features, but Aaron said nothing about it. “It’s alright. Had it coming.”

Aaron scowled at him, shaking his head at the comment. “What? By not being dead? If anyone had it coming, it was probably me. I should’ve been straight with him.”

Robert grinned at Aaron a little dopily. “Yeah, I wish you’d been _straight_ with him too.”

Aaron grinned. “Shut up.”

“Anyway, a punch in the mouth is the least you can expect,” Robert murmured. “If you’re gonna crash someone’s honeymoon.”

Aaron shook his head, smiling. “Can’t do anything by halves, can ya?”

Robert wrapped his fingers around Aaron’s wrist, holding it close. “When I woke up, all I wanted was you. You were all I could think about. I had to come to you.”

Aaron nodded, his eyes filling, mouth clamped into an unhappy line. When he could, he let out a soft, “Yeah?”

Robert nodded. “Yeah. You know-”

“I know,” Aaron said, nodding. He took a shuddering breath, swallowing hard. His voice came out throaty as he said, “Not a single day passed when I wasn’t thinking about you. _Praying_ that everyone was wrong. That’d you’d come back to me. The day of the wedding. I just… I kept thinking you’d turn up. There was just this feeling eating away at me.”

Robert kissed away the unhappy tilt of Aaron’s mouth, telling him, “And I did. I came back to you.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, nodding and managing a watery smile. “So, Mr Dingle. What happens now?”

Robert grinned at him. “Anything you want, Mr Sugden.”

Aaron’s brow crinkled with thought before he lifted up his left hand. Robert saw the wedding ring Alex had placed on Aaron’s finger. He took it between his fingers and pulled it off, looking at it before he tossed it out of his sight with a grin, Aaron shaking his head at Robert.

“Paris wedding then is it?” Robert asked.

Aaron let out a quiet laugh. “Probably not. You know how much me mum loves a wedding. She’ll probably want it in the beer garden.”

“Okay.” Robert grabbed Aaron’s hand and looked him in the eyes. “Until then, I Robert Sugden, take you Aaron Dingle, to be my husband. Again. And forever. Til death do us part.”

Aaron nodded, looking at their hands before he met Robert’s gaze again. “Forever. Til death do us part.”

Robert pulled Aaron to him, kissing him until they were both breathless.

*****

Aaron was smiling to himself as they walked along the river, the lights flickering on the inky black surface of the Seine, the night sky a canopy above them. Robert grinned and said, “What you smiling about?”

Aaron shrugged, hands tucked into the pockets of his black jeans, a light hoodie unzipped over his white T-shirt. “I was just thinking, you must be going soft. Coming out here when we’ve got a room to ourselves.”

“Room’ll keep,” Robert said, the city finally beginning to look like it had a point. “Just thought it was time we did this. A romantic walk in Paris.”

Aaron looked at Robert, affection bright in his eyes. Robert pulled him in for a kiss, feeling Aaron’s lips smile against his, Aaron’s palms coming up to press against Robert’s chest, warm through the fabric of Robert’s light shirt. Robert curled his hands around Aaron’s wrists, resting his forehead against Aaron’s, eyes closed with contentment for a moment.

“I missed you so much,” Robert whispered. “Been miserable without ya.”

Aaron pulled back, smiling a little as he looked at Robert. “It’s only been weeks.”

Robert shook his head. “It’s felt worse than years.”

“Yeah?” Aaron nodded, mouth twisting unhappily. “Well, I can tell you, it’s been a long three years… and when I wake up tomorrow morning, this better not be some dream. ‘Cause I’d rather just not wake up.”

“Shut up,” Robert said raggedly, kissing Aaron’s mouth shut.

In the distance someone whistled, and laughter followed. Robert looked away to find two youngish blokes, both of them with guitar cases slung over their shoulders. One of them was familiar and definitely the busker Robert had seen earlier.

He looked at Aaron, grinning. “It’s French Bob Dylan.”

“You what?” Aaron asked him with a scowl.

“Stay here. I’ll be right back,” Robert said.

Aaron made a face, and said, “Okay. I’ll just wait here then, shall I? In the dark. By a river. Can’t see what could go wrong here.”

Robert grinned as he backed away from Aaron and then turned to jog towards the buskers. The relevant one remembered Robert, or to be precise, he remembered Robert as the man who didn’t notice how much money he had put in the busker’s guitar case. Robert promised another sizeable payment for a small favour. He angled his head in the direction of Aaron and explained his request and they both proceeded to shake on their agreement forged in both bad English and worse French under the watchful eye of the busker’s friend.

Robert went back to Aaron, grabbing him by the hand and saying, “Come on. Got some quality romance coming your way.”

Aaron laughed, trailing behind Robert. “Oh, you do, do ya? Please tell me you’re not gonna serenade me, because I might actually jump in that river right now.”

“Shut up you. This is dead romantic this,” Robert said as he decided on a perfect spot and put his arms around Aaron’s waist.

The busker had already started playing his guitar, his friend providing a light accompaniment of his own. Aaron had a smile on his face, as he frowned at the buskers and then at Robert, his hands smoothing up Robert’s arms all the same.

Then a familiar song curled into the warm air around then. _“Lorsque la pluie vient couler sur ta peau, que le monde entier pèse sur ton dos...”_

Robert nodded to Aaron. “Listen. It’s our song.”

Aaron, allowing himself to be pulled into a slow sway, was frowning, recognition slowly dawning. Giving Robert a soft look, his voice thick, he said, “We don’t have a song, remember?”

“Right,” Robert told him, grinning. “I meant to say, listen… it’s not our song.”

Aaron nodded, his eyes sparkling brighter than the lights reflect on the surface of the Seine. He leaned in close, bringing them cheek pressed to cheek, softly telling Robert, “I love you.”

“I love you,” Robert told him, smiling and swaying to something that was and wasn’t their song.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. The basic premise of the fic is actually based on a movie called [Move Over Darling](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt74r5mfoUc). Someone should totally write a straight up Robron version of this movie because it's hilarious.
> 
> 2\. The title is from the lyrics of the _iconic_ Brandy & Monica song [The Boy is Mine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBmkCoiHC2c) as adapted by the brilliant [When We Were Young](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqsioq_SEVw). A fab summer song which I thought made for a both fun and apt Robert theme in this fic.
> 
> 3\. This fic is totally my compartmentalization of Ryan Hawley's leaving. I sad. I not think. I write. It was a happy writing experience so I hope it will perk up Robert and Robron fans as well.
> 
> ###  [Playlist:](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqsioq_SEVw&list=PLzmsiVvp2QOXx0p9NWbNzqt30ovA_9eIY)
> 
> [[The Boy Is Mine / When We Were Young](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqsioq_SEVw)] -- Title and theme song --
> 
> [[Je T’aime Tant / Julie Delpy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N03HHpmhtg)] -- Intro --
> 
> [[I Belong to You / Muse](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQoqM7l-vlQ)] - Mate, if somehow against all odds you manage to get more than one chance at being with the right bloke, do not cock it up, yeah? That’s my advice. You want advice on something from the French, stick with cheese, wine, and pastries.
> 
> [[Foux Da Fa Fa / Flight of the Conchords](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVDP3Lc1Uhs)] - Robert sat in the back of a taxi, watching Paris being exceptionally Paris, which was boring without having someone sitting next to him to remark on the Parisness of Paris. 
> 
> [[Jalousie / Baguette Quartet](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky3mW9hQmJ0)] - Robert pulled a face, shaking his head. If this had been Robert and Aaron on honeymoon, it would have actually been perfect. A bit of a silence followed, which Robert didn’t try to interpret as anyone’s tongue in anyone’s mouth. 
> 
> [[Dernière Danse / Indila](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5KAc5CoCuk)] - Paris at night felt old and abandoned. He sighed and stopped, looking around, wondering if it was actually Paris that felt old and abandoned.
> 
> [[Mon Cœur S'ouvre à Ta Voix / Maria Callus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBt-IW4xG-8)] - He’d take Aaron’s face in his hands, push up against him and kiss away that startled look. Just like that, Aaron would fall into his arms, and it would be as it was meant to be.
> 
> [[I Love Paris / J’aime Paris / Zaz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVPTtb9ov5s)] - Alex blinked. Then he took a run at Robert, fist first, and to be honest, that was the best welcome back into the world of the living.
> 
> [[All of Me / De T-Mike & Biggie Jo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dr7Y7v0twAY&)] - It was Aaron who held him down, moving his body against Robert’s, reclaiming him, holding onto him so hard it seemed to mark Robert to the core, not in his flesh, but somewhere deep in his soul.
> 
> [[Pour Te Dire Que Je T’aime / Thieve](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MS3jiuSx0AA)] - We don’t have a song
> 
> [[I Love Paris / Avalon Jazz Band] ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hU_X6Vr1MY)\-- Outro --


End file.
